Just thinking…about parenthood

October 6, 2020

I watched a TV episode of The Twighlight Zone this evening called “In Praise of Pip”, broadcast in 1963.  Jack Klugman, the principle actor, gave a wonderful performance.  It started me thinking about what kind of parent I was to my two sons and daughter while they were growing up.  What would I change if I could do it over again?  Well, I could write a book on that subject.  What things would I do all over again the same way?  How much did I love my children and how did I show that love?  Would I have given my life for them?  So much to think about.  Now all of them are in their 40’s and now I’m in “The Twilight Zone” myself in a manner of speaking.

Those thoughts reminded me of the beautiful and thought provoking old hymn, “I Gave My Life For Thee”.  

I gave My life for thee,
My precious blood I shed,
That thou might ransomed be,
And raised up from the dead;
I gave, I gave My life for thee,
What hast thou giv’n for Me?
I gave, I gave My life for thee,
What hast thou giv’n for Me?

My Father’s house of light,
My glory-circled throne
I left for earthly night,
For wand’rings sad and lone;
I left, I left it all for thee,
Hast thou left aught for Me?
I left, I left it all for thee,
Hast thou left aught for Me?

I suffered much for thee,
More than thy tongue can tell,
Of bitt’rest agony,
To rescue thee from hell;
I’ve borne, I’ve borne it all for thee,
What hast thou borne for Me?
I’ve borne, I’ve borne it all for thee,
What hast thou borne for Me?

And I have brought to thee,
Down from My home above,
Salvation full and free,
My pardon and My love;
I bring, I bring rich gifts to thee,
What hast thou brought to Me?
I bring, I bring rich gifts to thee,
What hast thou brought to Me?

We don’t get mulligans in parenting.  I don’t know if I have the courage to ask those questions to my own children and hear their answers.  The one thing that I DO know is that I tried to do the best that I knew how to be and always acted out of love for them.  Perhaps that’s the best that any parent can do.  Along with their mother, having raised my own children, I became less judgmental of them and I learned to understand and appreciate my own parents far more than I did before.  Perspectives change with maturity and personal experience.  

One’s response to the hymn above can be one of gratitude and love, or guilt and indifference.  For me, it’s mostly gratitude and love, but also some guilt and shame for allowing the cares and allures of this world distract me from the priceless gift I’ve received.

Would I have sacrificed my life in order to save one of my children?  I am convinced that I would whether it came from instinct, paternal love or from reason and examination of the pros and cons, the answer would always be, “Yes!”  If I was asked to make that choice today for any of my children or their spouses, or for my grandchildren, the answer would be unhesitatingly, “Yes!”

Before I explain my answer, let me acknowledge that the power of love is understood and experienced in many different ways and one person’s love cannot be compared to any other’s.  But there is no love like the love of a parent, even one who does not know how to express it.  Sometimes even  the recipient of that love cannot fully comprehend it.  Is my answer because I’m a saint?  Far from it.  Is it out of guilt and shame?  Absolutely not!  It comes because I am a parent and because, in some inexplicable way, I am made in God’s image.

I recommend that you search for and watch that episode from the fifth season of “The Twilight Zone”.  It is far more than entertainment.