Just thinking…it’s a matter of life and death

I’m listening to David Maslanka’s magnificent Symphony #4.  It’s incorporation of Bach Chorales and use of hymn tunes invoked in me the ambiance of a funeral setting.  No doubt, my state of mind before listening to the music influenced my response to the music.  Earlier today I had to take a cat to the vet to be euthanized. I was taking care of her while her owners were on vacation.  She had cancer and her owners had gone to heroic lengths to give her the best life possible as the disease progressed.  We knew that her time was near.  Today she reached the point where the merciful thing was to assist her in reaching the inevitable end that comes to all living things. As I held her close to me and witnessed her pain and the struggle that the tenacity of living sometimes outlives the usefulness, joy and purpose of life, I relived the horrors of being present when my mother and especially my father experienced their last moments.  It was a profoundly moving experience that overshadowed the rest of my day.  One is reminded of the sacredness and fragility of life.

Only purpose and relationship give life meaning.  So what purpose do we find in the life of a cat?  They once held a place in the balance of nature but with domestication, that role is greatly  diminished.  Instead, their place is primarily relational with their human benefactors.  As pets, they provide companionship and comfort to their owners.  In some cases, they also provide a sense of purpose and responsibility in their human families. Therefore is natural, normal and healthy to form loving attachments to our pets. When we lose them to tragedy, disease, age or misfortune, we mourn their loss and feel an emptiness in their absence.

So with the loss of a beloved family member or friend, we mourn but in an even more intimate, profound way.  Regardless of whether our parents were exemplary, inept or even bad, they were the models of our earliest experience and awareness.  They protected, nurtured, fed, clothed, sheltered and taught us.  They passed their genetic essence to us.  We are intricately and inextricably connected to them.  Perspectives broaden and mature as our world expands  beyond the home.  As children, teens and young adults we try to find and establish our own identity and separateness from our parents, but the link — strong or tenuous is always there.  Sometimes, to our discomfort and even dismay, we discover that we eventually become our parents!

How can we best honor our parents after their passing?  In some cultures, there is a celebration of their life.  Rather than mourning, there is joy and thanksgiving for the contributions they made to our lives and the lives of others.  There is also a sense of relief that they have cast off the bonds, limitations, weaknesses and frailties of human flesh.  For those of us of a metaphysical persuasion, we rejoice that they have moved on to a better place than this world with it’s uncertainties and troubles.  As for me, time never erases the pain of the connection lost with my mother and father.  I am grateful that their suffering and the indignities of old age have ended.  Nevertheless, their wisdom, experience, love, and guidance, the beauty of their personalities, the sense of continuity and belonging that they provided me are beyond my reach.  My heart aches the loss.

That brings me to reflection on funerals.  What is their purpose?  What is our response to the acknowledgement of the loss?  Should the sensibilities, beliefs and/or desires of the departed one govern the funeral even if the survivors do not share them?  Is the funeral for the dead or for those who love and survive them?  Or is it both?  Can it be both?  In our increasingly secular world, do the forms and content of funerals of the past hold relevance and meaning today?  Perhaps we should consider how other cultures deal with death and dying.  There is tremendous variety that goes far beyond our own traditions.  Exploring these questions may help us to find a practice that will fulfill our contemporary needs.

Sometimes I long to go back to that black and white world, where life is simple and predictable.  Everybody knew their place in the world because their world was confined to family and friends who lived around them.  Most people were basically honest and good god-fearing folks.

Wars, radio, television, satellite communication and Internet changed all that.  Now our world expands from our little bubble of the familiar to a whole universe of unfamiliar, unfathomable and often threatening things.  We have lost control of our lives and even our destinies.  We are caught up in a whirlwind of consumption, materialism and self-interest.  Our senses are overwhelmed.  There is no silence, only noise or music piped directly into our ear canals.  There is no peace.  We must be connected every moment by our smart phones and computers, with Facebook, Twitter and every other form of social media.  The television must be on every waking moment and too often, even through our fitful sleep.

We have become physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually exhausted.  The rate of change has exceeded our ability to keep up.  We have become angry, without hope, confused, out of control, adrift in life.

We don’t know what is true and what is lie.  We can’t differentiate between reality and unreality.  We’ve lost the ability to know right from wrong.  There is no peace in the world, at home or in our own minds.  That is why we long for the old, simple, black and white days dimly remembered and heavily romanticized. We don’t trust anybody who looks, thinks, dresses or acts different from ourselves.  We want simple answers but complex problems cannot be solved with simple answers.  We look for one person to step up and convince us that he or she can make it all better.  That’s where we are today.  In the words of St. Paul, written almost two thousand years ago, “Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death”  And now…back to American politics.

Over a year ago I had two molars extracted and complications persist to the present.  People whom I see regularly ask me how it’s progressing, so what follows chronicles the entire experience.  Most of you should stop reading now because why should you care?  But for those who have been staunch and caring friends, inquiring regularly, or who slow down for accidents hoping to see blood, or who are hooked on Grey’s Anatomy, here’s the tale.

About November 2014 I was getting some twinges somewhere in the upper right quadrant of my mouth.  It continued to get worse into December. I had a deep cleaning in July, so I didn’t figure the problem was too serious.  Also I was planning to spend about six weeks or so with my son, daughter-in-law and granddaughters in Maryland in December and January.  Also, I was changing insurance plans, so resolved to wait until I returned to have it looked at.

As soon as I got back to Long Beach I called and made an appointment with my dentist.  After an exam and x-rays, the dentist told me that one tooth was abscessed and would need to be extracted. This was February 6, 2015.  Well, after getting in there, he determined that the adjacent tooth also was abscessed so after three hours of cutting, grinding, picking and pulling those two teeth were dug out, piece by piece.  I know exactly what was going on because I was under just local anesthetic. I won’t detail the ordeal, but I’m sure that you know that it was no picnic. Oh yeah, and in the process of digging out the teeth, he punctured my sinus cavity. But he thought that it would heal on it’s own.

Now, since there was a hole in my sinuses that communicated to my mouth, I was no longer able to play trumpet or any musical wind instrument.  In fact, I couldn’t even drink with a soda straw because the pressure pushed liquid from my mouth up into my sinuses.  I had to drop out of the various organizations I was playing in except with the concert band, I joined the percussion section and continued to make noise. Of course, I also had infections in the sinus.

In March I had a root canal and had also been going in weekly for monitoring the healing from the extracted teeth.  Well, it wasn’t healing, so I was referred to an oral surgeon whom I saw March 17.  He told me that it wasn’t healing because there remained a root fragment in the area.  He said that he would remove the root fragment and cut a flap to cover up the hold, stitch it up and I would be good to go.  After he left, I was visited by Jessie James who hit me with the price.  In shock, I requested that he put it in writing and staggered out the door.  I called my dentist, told him what the surgeon had said and asked him to remove the root fragment.  That happened the following week.  He kept monitoring my progress but the hole still wasn’t healing, so it was time to go back to the oral surgeon.

I did that June 1, 2015.  He gave me the same diagnosis and I told him that I couldn’t afford his prices.  So I began checking out doctors in Mexico.  Many people in Southern California to to Mexico for their dental care.  I found one that I liked and drove down to Rosarito June 22, 2015.  He had arranged for an oral surgeon to be in attendance, so they made the flap, sewed me up, prescribed a fist full of antibiotics and things and sent me home.  Yes, that was done with local anesthesia also.  Extremely painful, but I’m tough.

Three weeks later, still hurting and not  healing, I go back to Mexico and they do the procedure again — cutting a new flap, cleaning out my sinuses, using some other material to cover the hole and reinforce it, sewed me up and sent me back home again warning that if it didn’t work this time, significant surgery would be required.  And yes, I was awake again through the entire operation.  No, not fun!

For the next almost few months, I keep hoping against hope that it would eventually close, but instead, it’s just getting worse.  Constant sinus infections, discomfort, etc. so I go to my PCP and ask him to give me a referral to see another oral surgeon.  Insurance denies it so then I spend hours and days being passed among various insurance people.  Eventually one tells me to request a referral to an ENT instead of an oral surgeon.  So I do that.  Somebody drops the ball, so I make another round of phone calls, hours on hold, being transferred to the wrong departments and all the rest.  Finally I got a referral authorization for an ear-nose-throat doctor.  I made an appointment for mid-January.  A couple days before the appointment I receive a call from the office telling me that the doctor would not be available and I had to reschedule for a later date and I would not be able to get the original doctor, but a different one.

January 28, 2016 I see the ENT specialist.  She sends me for a CTScan.  More delays.  I get the scan and hand carry the results back to the ENT and get an appointment.  I see her again February 18th. So I have a totally infected sinus, a very large hole between my mouth and sinus cavity and a deviated septum. I should also mention that two oral surgeons and two dentists have told me that the original dentist did a poor job of extracting the teeth which means that I will need a bone graft or some type of filler to underpin the repair.  Fixing all this will require a joint effort between an oral surgeon and an ENT.  I leave the office waiting to receive notification of an authorization for seeing an oral surgeon.  That was Thursday.  Today, Monday, I checked first with insurance.  They knew nothing.  I call the ENT office and they tell me to call the oral surgeon.  I call them and learn that they do not accept my insurance, so I call the ENT office back.  They tell me that they will follow up and call me back in a couple days.  Well, they call me back in about an hour and tell me that I needed to make the appointment myself and that they would try to help me with the cost.  So I call the oral surgeon’s office again and have an appointment for tomorrow, with a $140 payment for the consultation.

So the medical insurance claims that it’s a dental problem.  The dental insurance says it’s a medical problem.  In the mean time, I have had horrible halitosis for a year, constant sinus and respiratory problems, headaches, soreness in my mouth, bad taste in my mouth and endless frustration plus untold hours on the phone.  Will I ever get resolution?  How much will it cost?  How long will it take?  How many more phone calls, how much wait-and-see, how much more pain and discomfort?  I don’t know.  But I ain’t down yet!

It’s been raining off and on all day.  Once the rain let up, the high winds kicked in.  Not just a gentle breeze or a puff now and then.  We’re talking some serious wind here!

The day didn’t start off very well anyway.  First of all, I had the most outrageous, improbable dreams last night.  I’m not talking about one of those single episode, one scene dreams that run a few minutes, but night-long dreams that came like chapters, all one unsettling story running throughout the night, complete with living color and Dolby 5.1 sound.  Oh, and they are lucid dreams.  That means that I know that I’m dreaming while I dreaming.  I can decide to change the content of the dream if I want to, but they were too interesting for me to consciously intervene. I wanted to find out what happened next.   I have those episodic type dreams too, but it’s not uncommon for me to have novel length dreams with plot, multiple characters, various locations and time sequences.  I should write books, but the dreams are too bizarre and often too personal to transcribe.  Anyway, I awoke several times in my dream and a couple of times in actuality.  Finally, at 9 am I realized that I was still in bed even though I was dreaming that it was 11 am, so I dragged myself unsteadily out of bed and did what everybody does as soon as they wake up.  It was then that I realized that I had forgotten to take my ” dizzy pill” last night.  You see, I have non-stop, twenty-four hour a day, 365 days a year vertigo.  The dizzy pills usually mitigate the vertigo to the extent that I can function reasonably well even though I always must make certain accommodations.  When I forget to take the medication at night, I know it instantly when I wake up.  So I took the pill this morning, first thing, then fixed a bowl of cereal.  I knew that I was too dizzy to drive a car.  I was even having trouble moving about in the apartment, so I didn’t attempt to go to church.  After about an hour and a half I decided to go back to bed, but couldn’t fall back asleep, so got up and dressed, hoping the vertigo would subside.  Well, it didn’t — and hasn’t.

So I have tried reading, getting myself aggravated by reading comments on Facebook, reading email, listening to some music and watching Netflix all day.  But…I return to the wind.

As a result of the high winds, the power keeps going off momentarily.  I’ve counted at least seven times so far.  Each time, off goes the TV, receiver, the cable router, the WiFi router and the two Apple TV’s – thus Netflix.  Also, my desktop computer restarts, the microwave oven beeps to indicate a power failure, my two printers recycle, my bio-garden aquarium, alarm clock and of course appliances all come back on.  After the last power failure, I gave up.   I lit candles all over, gave up on Netflix and all associated devices, turned off all the lights and decided to go off the grid. All of my clocks except for my alarm are either battery operated or antique weight or spring wound.  Resetting won’t be a problem but I’ll wait until morning or when the wind dies down.

Now being off grid means that I’m composing this sad little tale on my laptop–running on battery.  I’ll fire up my hotspot and upload this to my blog and Facebook pages before I surrender myself to reading a book on my iPad and enjoying the romance of a quiet candlelit evening at home.  If I listen to music on my iPod with headphones, can I still claim to be off the grid and back to the good old days of yore?  Perhaps not, but I’ve really reigned in my technology–I think!

This isn’t strictly a “Just thinking” post.  It is a combination of journal and “Just Thinking” but since I can’t remember how to make another blog address, I’m posting it here.

Sunday: January 24, 2015, 8:45 pm

First I decided to try to get the stains out of the sleeve of a white dress shirt.  The bleach pen helped a little bit.  I tried rubbing non-chlorine bleach into the stains and letting that sit for a couple hours.  Made progress but not good enough, so I decided to try the OxyClean spray.  No good, so I went for the Oxyclean crystals but I couldn’t find the container.  I “knew” that it was under the kitchen sink, but a superficial search was unsuccessful.  Tried the linen closet but not there, so back to the kitchen sink.  Well, that’s where all the cleaning supplies, flower vases, brushes, SOS pads, dusting stuff, bug spray and everything else that I don’t know where to store goes.  It’s a catch-all cabinet.  Nothing to do but start taking stuff out which ended up taking everything out.  Well, I got halfway through and had to take a break so I went back to my 2015 budget analysis that I’ve been working on over the past couple days.  Then I got hungry, so scavenged some leftovers from the refrigerator.  While eating I started watching an episode of Grey’s Anatomy, a show that I had not followed at all.  But thanks to Netflix, I can binge watch all the things that I failed to see when they were being produced.  I watched one episode, then returned to the sink project.  I finally found the OxyClean powder but by then, I had almost everything out of the cabinet and on to the floor.  So I finished that and got my shirt soaking.  Then I returned to the budget project which I could do while watching another episode of Grey’s Anatomy.  So now I’m up to three projects, not counting writing this little story,  all in progress simultaneously.  Now I going to go back to the kitchen and vacuum the cabinet under the sink and try to impose some order on it’s contents as I return them.

Okay, I’m back.  Had to clean and disinfect the inside of the cabinet while I have everything out.  Then I washed up the few dishes in the sink and some items that go back under.  Now I wait for everything to dry so I’m back to my story.  The last episode of Grey’s Anatomy really effected me.  One thread of the story involved a woman with Alzheimer’s.  Another was about a nurse who had terminal cancer.  She was shown actually dying, with the monitor showing her breathing and heartbeat that finally flatlined and the IV drip running.  Another patient had prostate cancer which had to be removed, and he feared that he would lose his ability to get erections leaving him impotent and feeling emasculated.  I couldn’t help but relive Mom’s final hours in ER, witnessing her draw her last breath, hearing the monitor beeping and watching the screen as everything flatlined.   It’s only ten days since the anniversary of her death.  It was a difficult day for me even after nine years.  Some things are so burned into one’s memory that they never fade.  A fourth patient had a brain tumor and had two options.  One was surgery which would give him about ten more years to live, but his memories and personality would probably be irretrievably damaged.  The other was to undergo radiation and chemo which would preserve his memory and personality but give him only three more years of life.  I was reminded of the agonizing decision to let Mom go in accordance with her living will.  Spending so much time with Dad in his final years, watching his personality, memory, enjoyment of living and physical decline ravaged little by little to Lewy Bodies Dementia, the story touched another tender nerve.   Finally, the story of the man with prostate cancer touched upon something that every man fears, even dreads — the loss of sexual function and libido.  It something that every man understands instinctively and no woman can really fully comprehend.  I may be wrong, but I believe that for most women, sex can be nice, enjoyable, even exciting.  It can also be a tool for manipulating a man.  Or it can just be a duty or a means of procreation.   For most men, sex is as necessary as eating and breathing.  It’s the centerpiece of a man’s sense of his own masculinity and identity.  If a man’s sexual performance is degraded, he will probably adjust to that, but if it’s taken away, it’s an almost impossible bitter pill to swallow. The story of the man with the brain tumor highlights the decision that too many must make balancing quality of life with the sanctity of life. Taken together, those stories led me to a rather emotional state.

By now it’s after midnight.  I finished the sink project.  It looks great and now I know where everything is.  I also cleared a stopped up toilet. My shirt looks much better now.  Tomorrow I will do laundry and go to the dentist.  After I launder the shirt, I’m hoping that it will be as good as new.  I mopped the kitchen floor and am having a little sandwich before I go to bed.  The budget project will have to be extended yet another day.  Should be horizontal by 1 am.

Jim, who would you vote for and why?

Though I’m not pleased with any of the candidates, I will vote for the one that I decide will best serve our country. For most of my life I was a registered Republican and tended to support the Republican candidate for President though I never voted a straight ticket. I study the candidates and the issues at the federal, state and local levels and try to make informed choices.

After Reagan, I began favoring the Democratic ticket partly because I have changed in some of my beliefs and values, but more because I felt like and continue to feel that the Republican Party has radicalized and has long since abandoned the values that I hold. I want fiscal responsibility but not based upon a 30-60-90 view, but a long term view. I believe that social justice and social responsibility are very high priorities. I believe that special interests, lobbyists, super PAC’s and wealthy donors have completely corrupted our political system. I believe that our representatives at the federal and state levels do not seriously represent their constituencies and do not serve the best interests of those they are elected to represent. On the other hand, I believe that a significant portion of the American population do not have the intelligence, perspective and knowledge to make informed decisions on the issues that affect them. So the dilemma becomes whether our elected officials should assume the role of representative or of caretaker.

If you look at the history of voting rights, they were defined primarily by each state until after the Civil War when amendments were made to our constitution affecting who could vote. Until then, voters were almost exclusively white male landowners. Before the Civil War, it was left to each state limit voters by enforcing poll taxes, literacy tests,  religious tests and to define voting age restrictions. Redistricting every ten  years was not established until 1972 and gerrymandering which exists even today significantly skew the choosing of representatives which in turn affects the presidential selection.

A democratic republic must be a representative one. I conclude from all the above that our current government is not representative of it’s people. I further assert that an effective government requires informed, educated and involved citizens. Until both of these criteria are met, our government cannot function as intended.

I believe that both parties are drunk on power, prestige, influence and to some extent, greed. I believe that we are ruled by an oligarchy of big business, special interests and wealthy individuals to whom our elected representatives are pawns to do their bidding. I’m convinced that a large portion of our population is ruled by it’s fears and not by it’s mind. Both major parties pander to and inflame those fears, but far and away the greater offender is the Republican Party. It has become anti-education, anti-science and anti-reason. It is becoming increasingly xenophobic, isolationist, intolerant, bigoted, discriminatory, irrational and all those things that stem from them. Democrats lack the resolve to press their social agenda and are too idealistic to be realistic about what can be accomplished.

The economic theory of the GOP does not and cannot work. Unbridled capitalism works for the wealthy, but not for the rest of the people and not for the environment. The economic approach of the Democratic Party seems to work better but is too broad. The belligerent policies of the Presidents Bush and advocated by the current GOP presidential contenders are wrong on every level.

So domestically and abroad, I consider the GOP solutions to be untenable to my value system, to reason and in the light of history. I find the Democratic solutions to be more consistent with my value system at present.

Now we come to the other part of the equation. Policy and intentions are one thing, but the ability to carry out one’s policy and intentions is another. I’m not so wedded to any single issue to allow it to overrule all other considerations. So once all the contenders of both parties have discredited, bitten and devoured each other, I will consider who is still standing in both camps and decide who will get my vote. None of the current GOP contenders would get my vote though a dark horse may come to the fore whom I might consider.  I consider Hillary to be divisive, corrosive and I don’t know what she is really thinking.  I really like what Bernie is saying and I like that his political career has been  consistent with what he is advocating today.  Though I like what he is saying, I am not convinced that he can actually achieve them.   First, there are many issues that he is not addressing.  I want to see his comprehensive agenda.  Second, is his agenda realistic?  I’m not convinced.  Last, even if he develops a comprehensive and realistic agenda, I don’t see him getting the support of Congress to achieve them.  On the other hand, though I’ve never liked nor trusted Hillary, I believe that she would be more effective in Washington. So will I vote on principle or expediency?  I don’t know yet.

This is a sermon that Dr. Martin Luther King delivered in 1956.  It still rings true today.  Please take time to read.  JS

Paul’s Letter to American Christians

Delivered at Dexter Avenue Baptist Church, Montgomery, Alabama, on 4 November 1956. MLKP.

I would like to share with you an imaginary letter from the pen of the Apostle Paul. The postmark reveals that it comes from the city of Ephesus. After opening the letter I discovered that it was written in Greek rather than English. At the top of the first page was this request: “Please read to your congregation as soon as possible, and then pass on to the other churches.”

For several weeks I have worked assiduously with the translation. At times it has been difficult, but now I think I have deciphered its true meaning. May I hasten to say that if in presenting this letter the contents sound strangely Kingian instead of Paulinian, attribute it to my lack of complete objectivity rather than Paul’s lack of clarity.

It is miraculous, indeed, that the Apostle Paul should be writing a letter to you and to me nearly 1900 years after his last letter appeared in the New Testament. How this is possible is something of an enigma wrapped in mystery. The important thing, however, is that I can imagine the Apostle Paul writing a letter to American Christians in 1956 A.D. And here is the letter as it stands before me.

I, an apostle of Jesus Christ by the will of God, to you who are in America, Grace be unto you, and peace from God our Father, through our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

For many years I have longed to be able to come to see you. I have heard so much of you and of what you are doing. I have heard of the fascinating and astounding advances that you have made in the scientific realm. I have heard of your dashing subways and flashing airplanes. Through your scientific genius you have been able to dwarf distance and place time in chains. You have been able to carve highways through the stratosphere. So in your world you have made it possible to eat breakfast in New York City and dinner in Paris, France. I have also heard of your skyscraping buildings with their prodigious towers steeping heavenward. I have heard of your great medical advances, which have resulted in the curing of many dread plagues and diseases, and thereby prolonged your lives and made for greater security and physical well-being. All of that is marvelous. You can do so many things in your day that I could not do in the Greco-Roman world of my day. In your age you can travel distances in one day that took me three months to travel. That is wonderful. You have made tremendous strides in the area of scientific and technological development.

But America, as I look at you from afar, I wonder whether your moral and spiritual progress has been commensurate with your scientific progress. It seems to me that your moral progress lags behind your scientific progress. Your poet Thoreau used to talk about “improved means to an unimproved end.” How often this is true. You have allowed the material means by which you live to outdistance the spiritual ends for which you live. You have allowed your mentality to outrun your morality. You have allowed your civilization to outdistance your culture. Through your scientific genius you have made of the world a neighborhood, but through your moral and spiritual genius you have failed to make of it a brotherhood. So America, I would urge you to keep your moral advances abreast with your scientific advances.

I am impelled to write you concerning the responsibilities laid upon you to live as Christians in the midst of an unChristian world. That is what I had to do. That is what every Christian has to do. But I understand that there are many Christians in America who give their ultimate allegiance to man-made systems and customs. They are afraid to be different. Their great concern is to be accepted socially. They live by some such principle as this: “everybody is doing it, so it must be alright.” For so many of you Morality is merely group consensus. In your modern sociological lingo, the mores are accepted as the right ways. You have unconsciously come to believe that right is discovered by taking a sort of Gallup poll of the majority opinion. How many are giving their ultimate allegiance to this way.

But American Christians, I must say to you as I said to the Roman Christians years ago, “Be not conformed to this world, but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Or, as I said to the Phillipian Christians, “Ye are a colony of heaven.” This means that although you live in the colony of time, your ultimate allegiance is to the empire of eternity. You have a dual citizenry. You live both in time and eternity; both in heaven and earth. Therefore, your ultimate allegiance is not to the government, not to the state, not to nation, not to any man-made institution. The Christian owes his ultimate allegiance to God, and if any earthly institution conflicts with God’s will it is your Christian duty to take a stand against it. You must never allow the transitory evanescent demands of man-made institutions to take precedence over the eternal demands of the Almighty God.

I understand that you have an economic system in America known as Capitalism. Through this economic system you have been able to do wonders. You have become the richest nation in the world, and you have built up the greatest system of production that history has ever known. All of this is marvelous. But Americans, there is the danger that you will misuse your Capitalism. I still contend that money can be the root of all evil. It can cause one to live a life of gross materialism. I am afraid that many among you are more concerned about making a living than making a life. You are prone to judge the success of your profession by the index of your salary and the size of the wheel base on your automobile, rather than the quality of your service to humanity.

The misuse of Capitalism can also lead to tragic exploitation. This has so often happened in your nation. They tell me that one tenth of one percent of the population controls more than forty percent of the wealth. Oh America, how often have you taken necessities from the masses to give luxuries to the classes. If you are to be a truly Christian nation you must solve this problem. You cannot solve the problem by turning to communism, for communism is based on an ethical relativism and a metaphysical materialism that no Christian can accept. You can work within the framework of democracy to bring about a better distribution of wealth. You can use your powerful economic resources to wipe poverty from the face of the earth. God never intended for one group of people to live in superfluous inordinate wealth, while others live in abject deadening poverty. God intends for all of his children to have the basic necessities of life, and he has left in this universe “enough and to spare” for that purpose. So I call upon you to bridge the gulf between abject poverty and superfluous wealth.

I would that I could be with you in person, so that I could say to you face to face what I am forced to say to you in writing. Oh, how I long to share your fellowship.

Let me rush on to say something about the church. Americans, I must remind you, as I have said to so many others, that the church is the Body of Christ. So when the church is true to its nature it knows neither division nor disunity. But I am disturbed about what you are doing to the Body of Christ. They tell me that in America you have within Protestantism more than two hundred and fifty six denominations. The tragedy is not so much that you have such a multiplicity of denominations, but that most of them are warring against each other with a claim to absolute truth. This narrow sectarianism is destroying the unity of the Body of Christ. You must come to see that God is neither a Baptist nor a Methodist; He is neither a Presbyterian nor a Episcopalian. God is bigger than all of our denominations. If you are to be true witnesses for Christ, you must come to see that America.

But I must not stop with a criticism of Protestantism. I am disturbed about Roman Catholicism. This church stands before the world with its pomp and power, insisting that it possesses the only truth. It incorporates an arrogance that becomes a dangerous spiritual arrogance. It stands with its noble Pope who somehow rises to the miraculous heights of infallibility when he speaks ex cathedra. But I am disturbed about a person or an institution that claims infallibility in this world. I am disturbed about any church that refuses to cooperate with other churches under the pretense that it is the only true church. I must emphasize the fact that God is not a Roman Catholic, and that the boundless sweep of his revelation cannot be limited to the Vatican. Roman Catholicism must do a great deal to mend its ways.

There is another thing that disturbs me to no end about the American church. You have a white church and you have a Negro church. You have allowed segregation to creep into the doors of the church. How can such a division exist in the true Body of Christ? You must face the tragic fact that when you stand at 11:00 on Sunday morning to sing “All Hail the Power of Jesus Name” and “Dear Lord and Father of all Mankind,” you stand in the most segregated hour of Christian America. They tell me that there is more integration in the entertaining world and other secular agencies than there is in the Christian church. How appalling that is.

I understand that there are Christians among you who try to justify segregation on the basis of the Bible. They argue that the Negro is inferior by nature because of Noah’s curse upon the children of Ham. Oh my friends, this is blasphemy. This is against everything that the Christian religion stands for. I must say to you as I have said to so many Christians before, that in Christ “there is neither Jew nor Gentile, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female, for we are all one in Christ Jesus.” Moreover, I must reiterate the words that I uttered on Mars Hill: “God that made the world and all things therein . . . hath made of one blood all nations of men for to dwell on all the face of the earth.”

So Americans I must urge you to get rid of every aspect of segregation. The broad universalism standing at the center of the gospel makes both the theory and practice of segregation morally unjustifiable. Segregation is a blatant denial of the unity which we all have in Christ. It substitutes an “I-it” relationship for the “I-thou” relationship. The segregator relegates the segregated to the status of a thing rather than elevate him to the status of a person. The underlying philosophy of Christianity is diametrically opposed to the underlying philosophy of segregation, and all the dialectics of the logicians cannot make them lie down together.

I praise your Supreme Court for rendering a great decision just two or three years ago. I am happy to know that so many persons of goodwill have accepted the decision as a great moral victory. But I understand that there are some brothers among you who have risen up in open defiance. I hear that their legislative halls ring loud with such words as “nullification” and “interposition.” They have lost the true meaning of democracy and Christianity. So I would urge each of you to plead patiently with your brothers, and tell them that this isn’t the way. With understanding goodwill, you are obligated to seek to change their attitudes. Let them know that in standing against integration, they are not only standing against the noble precepts of your democracy, but also against the eternal edicts of God himself. Yes America, there is still the need for an Amos to cry out to the nation: “Let judgement roll down as waters, and righteousness as a mighty stream.”

May I say just a word to those of you who are struggling against this evil. Always be sure that you struggle with Christian methods and Christian weapons. Never succumb to the temptation of becoming bitter. As you press on for justice, be sure to move with dignity and discipline, using only the weapon of love. Let no man pull you so low as to hate him. Always avoid violence. If you succumb to the temptation of using violence in your struggle, unborn generations will be the recipients of a long and desolate night of bitterness, and your chief legacy to the future will be an endless reign of meaningless chaos.

In your struggle for justice, let your oppressor know that you are not attempting to defeat or humiliate him, or even to pay him back for injustices that he has heaped upon you. Let him know that you are merely seeking justice for him as well as yourself. Let him know that the festering sore of segregation debilitates the white man as well as the Negro. With this attitude you will be able to keep your struggle on high Christian standards.

Many persons will realize the urgency of seeking to eradicate the evil of segregation. There will be many Negroes who will devote their lives to the cause of freedom. There will be many white persons of goodwill and strong moral sensitivity who will dare to take a stand for justice. Honesty impels me to admit that such a stand will require willingness to suffer and sacrifice. So don’t despair if you are condemned and persecuted for righteousness’ sake. Whenever you take a stand for truth and justice, you are liable to scorn. Often you will be called an impractical idealist or a dangerous radical. Sometimes it might mean going to jail. If such is the case you must honorably grace the jail with your presence. It might even mean physical death. But if physical death is the price that some must pay to free their children from a permanent life of psychological death, then nothing could be more Christian. Don’t worry about persecution America; you are going to have that if you stand up for a great principle. I can say this with some authority, because my life was a continual round of persecutions. After my conversion I was rejected by the disciples at Jerusalem. Later I was tried for heresy at Jerusalem. I was jailed at Philippi, beaten at Thessalonica, mobbed at Ephesus, and depressed at Athens. And yet I am still going. I came away from each of these experiences more persuaded than ever before that “neither death nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come . . . shall separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” I still believe that standing up for the truth of God is the greatest thing in the world. This is the end of life. The end of life is not to be happy. The end of life is not to achieve pleasure and avoid pain. The end of life is to do the will of God, come what may.

I must bring my writing to a close now. Timothy is waiting to deliver this letter, and I must take leave for another church. But just before leaving, I must say to you, as I said to the church at Corinth, that I still believe that love is the most durable power in the world. Over the centuries men have sought to discover the highest good. This has been the chief quest of ethical philosophy. This was one of the big questions of Greek philosophy. The Epicurean and the Stoics sought to answer it; Plato and Aristotle sought to answer it. What is the summon bonum of life? I think I have an answer America. I think I have discovered the highest good. It is love. This principle stands at the center of the cosmos. As John says, “God is love.” He who loves is a participant in the being of God. He who hates does not know God.

So American Christians, you may master the intricacies of the English language. You may possess all of the eloquence of articulate speech. But even if you “speak with the tongues of man and angels, and have not love, you are become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.”

You may have the gift of prophecy and understanding all mysteries. You may be able to break into the storehouse of nature and bring out many insights that men never dreamed were there. You may ascend to the heights of academic achievement, so that you will have all knowledge. You may boast of your great institutions of learning and the boundless extent of your degrees. But all of this amounts to absolutely nothing devoid of love.

But even more Americans, you may give your goods to feed the poor. You may give great gifts to charity. You may tower high in philanthropy. But if you have not love it means nothing. You may even give your body to be burned, and die the death of a martyr. Your spilt blood may be a symbol of honor for generations yet unborn, and thousands may praise you as history’s supreme hero. But even so, if you have not love your blood was spilt in vain. You must come to see that it is possible for a man to be self-centered in his self-denial and self-righteous in his self-sacrifice. He may be generous in order to feed his ego and pious in order to feed his pride. Man has the tragic capacity to relegate a heightening virtue to a tragic vice. Without love benevolence becomes egotism, and martyrdom becomes spiritual pride.

So the greatest of all virtues is love. It is here that we find the true meaning of the Christian faith. This is at bottom the meaning of the cross. The great event on Calvary signifies more than a meaningless drama that took place on the stage of history. It is a telescope through which we look out into the long vista of eternity and see the love of God breaking forth into time. It is an eternal reminder to a power drunk generation that love is most durable power in the world, and that it is at bottom the heartbeat of the moral cosmos. Only through achieving this love can you expect to matriculate into the university of eternal life.

I must say goodby now. I hope this letter will find you strong in the faith. It is probable that I will not get to see you in America, but I will meet you in God’s eternity. And now unto him who is able to keep us from falling, and lift us from the fatigue of despair to the buoyancy of hope, from the midnight of desperation to the daybreak of joy, to him be power and authority, forever and ever. Amen.

‘Tis the season of the Girl Scout cookie. Permit me to offer some advice. First of all, beware of imposters. Do not be beguiled by the Samoas or the Lemonades. Don’t be led astray by Tagalongs or Trefoils; they are mere pretenders deceiving the gullible. There is but one girl scout cookie, one annual delight, one tantalizing, tasty touch of Elysium–the thin mint. A divine commixture of chocolate, mint, crunch and mystery, it’s incomparable.

The cookies should be frozen in advance. One must set aside a suitable time, place and environment. Prepare a place of serenity, free from distraction. Turn on some soft, peaceful music. Subdued light and tranquillity will immeasurably enhance the experience. Remove the cookies from the box and arrange on a silver tray or serving dish. Pour yourself a glass of Harvey’s Bristol Cream Sherry or Dry Sack. Now you are ready to begin.

Select one cookie and insert it into your mouth upside down. These cookies must never be eaten right side up. This is a very common mistake. The subtle combination of flavor is lost if you fail to observe this one rule. The cookie must be placed into your mouth whole. Do not attempt to savor this piecemeal. Now, just allow the flavors to develop on your tongue and waft into your nose. After a few seconds — you’ll instinctively know when the time is right — you may begin to chew. Remember, the thin mint is not meant to be shoveled into one’s mouth with reckless abandon. It must be consumed thoughtfully, reverently, thankfully. Take a sip of sherry and allow yourself to be transported to sensory Nirvana.

You may now proceed to your second cookie following the same regimen. Resist at all costs the temptation to devour an entire box of cookies in the blind, unbridled fury of pent up desire. Rather, control your passion with refinement, culture and good breeding. I recommend eating only a few cookies at one sitting as your taste sensors will quickly be overwhelmed, sullying the experience through overindulgence.

Now, there is hardly a living soul that is more than one degree of separation from a purveyor of Girl Scout cookies, but if you are so unfortunate,I have a granddaughter who can fix you up.

P.S. Thin mints can also be eaten for breakfast, or any time of day or night, with coffee or milk but since they are available only once a year, you owe it to yourself to treat the experience as it deserves. And whatever you do, you MUST put them into your mouth upside- down. This is very, very important! And lastly, do not feed these to your children. They have neither the maturity nor propensity to properly enjoy these cookies. Give them Oreos and reserve this limited annual treat for adults who can give them the respect they deserve.

When I was in primary school, I had a vivid imagination and vivid dreams to go with them. I had “bad” dreams regularly. My research indicates that this is very common and normal. It’s not necessary to detail specific dreams but I will say that I had a repertoire of bad dreams that would play out the same way over and over from childhood through adulthood. For me, those began at about seven or eight years of age. I loved watching Flash Gordon on television but my parents felt that it was the cause of my bad dreams, and stopped letting me watch it.

One night while I was sleeping an angel appeared to me and said, “Be happy” That’s it. No elaboration. Simply, “Be Happy”. I ran to my parent’s bedroom crying and reported my dream. They told me that it was a good dream and not a nightmare and convinced me to go back to bed. Whatever the source of that message, I adopted it as a rule to live by.

Disney released a film in 1960 that was based upon a book written in 1916 called Pollyanna. It tells the story of a child with an optimistic, sunny disposition who is able to transform her entire community by insisting that everyone look for things to be glad about.

“Always Look On the Bright Side of Life” was a song originally written as a parody but has come to be used as a song of encouragement in the face of tragedy or loss.

In 1988 Bobby McFerrin recorded the hit song, “Don’t Worry, Be Happy”. He gives great advice in that catchy little tune. The message of the song is twofold. First, regardless of what happens, don’t worry, be happy. Second, when you are sad, discouraged and negative, it brings the people around you down too. The conclusion is that being optimist is best.

There are many other examples in song and literature. My point is this, though some people may by nature be more prone to pessimism than others, happiness is a decision. Life is an uneven journey filled with triumphs and defeats. But humility in triumph, perseverance in defeat and always looking for the good in people and circumstance will result in a much happier, joyful and fulfilled life. Choose happiness.